he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
