I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
