I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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