I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
