Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
