Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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