You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
