so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
