i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
