My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
