I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
