I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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