why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The power of my boobs compel you
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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