A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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