i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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