Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
