I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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