Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why is there bacon in the couch?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
