were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
