I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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