I will die if light touches me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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