so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We have started to decorate penises.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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