im six kinds of drunk right now
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
