i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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