You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize