She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
