i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
