Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
