I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
