i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
