The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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