I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my shit smells like andre
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
