You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
