I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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