The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
