I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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