Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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