Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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