her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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