try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
