my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
