You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
