So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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