Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
