remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
