Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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