Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we made out on top of his cat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
