So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Drunk is not a location!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
