I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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