We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this beer tastes like vomit already
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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