Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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