Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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