it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
