sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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