quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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