does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
