i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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