It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I did not marry a roomba.
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