I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
