I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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