I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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