Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
